Cait Phoenix
What are some common misconceptions about mental health that you would like to address?
The “just get over it” saying drives me crazy! Mental health is not something you can just “get over”. It’s something that your brain is controlling and even though you think “yeah my brain wont steer me wrong” it does and that’s what mental illness is. We must fight ourselves every day to just feel okay enough to live. We must remind ourselves of reasons to get out of bed and function versus the natural alarm clock that you wake up and just go like the energizer bunny. Trust me, we wish that we could function easier.
Can you share your personal experience with mental health challenges and how you have overcome them?
I would say that looking back, my mental health issues started when I was younger. I am the oldest between my brother and I; we unfortunately witnessed the toxicity between our parents quite often, in which I would try to shield not only myself but my brother as well from experiencing it. Fast forward to my teens and I had been sexually assaulted by my ex-stepdad, which led to large amounts of anxiety, depression and ptsd. Being that at the time, my mom didn’t believe me, and life seemed to be an uphill battle.
Eventually his true colors showed, and she left him, we sold the house and moved to North Carolina. From there, I had met a lot of people being that I was extroverted and loved being around crowds; it eventually led me to meeting an ex-husband who was air force. Being that he was getting deployed to Okinawa, Japan- I got to go to! (It was such a beautiful place to experience) During my short 6-8 months out there, the marriage had turned toxic, and we ended up splitting. Unfortunately, because of that, I had begun hanging out with a questionable person who just “seemed to get me”. We hit it off, he said all the right things and the abuse slowly started.
First it was verbal, then it became physical, and the last straw was the abuse in the hospital while I was in labor. Luckily my family was around to help me and baby get out of the situationthat I had gotten stuck in for two years.
With that being said, I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl and unfortunately, a long list of trust and mental health issues from a narcissist. That was when I began turning inward to heal. Once my oldest daughter was born, it was a straight beeline for a safe haven to where he couldn’t hurt me nor her. I began healing and met my best friend who raised my daughter as though she was biologically his, like it was nothing. At the time that I met him, he was going through some things which led him to act out and with that it caused turmoil within the relationship, eventually leading it to destruct. However, the co-parenting dynamic is amazing, so it’s still a blessing to recover the positive energy within the family.
Then, in June 2019, I had lost my younger brother to suicide. His mental health issues had gotten the best of him. Losing him, I feel like I lost a huge part of who I am. We are both Capricorn zodiac, so I dedicated my half sleeve tattoo to him. It’s the one thing that we both shared soulfully. Life has been different, some days are harder than others, but with time it gets easier. One saying I live by is “it is what it is” and throughout the years I’ve learned that the best way to get through or overcome something- is allowing yourself to feel every emotion in that moment- allowing yourself to feel those emotions. After that, life seems a little less heavy.